The Smallest Library on Earth

Greetings from the tiniest library I've ever seen. I'm currently Amish, so I'm having to seek out local places that provide access to the information superhighway. So today's journey lead me to the Glen Park Public Library. The nice thing is that it's only a few blocks from my new house, and I needed to get out anyway and stretch my legs. I'm still in the timid phrase around my new roommate and the fact that we have absolutely NOTHING in common doesn't really help spark a stimulating conversation. But the place is clean and comfortable, so I'm content.....for now :-)

Anyway, I've noticed some more of my friends have been checking out the blog, and good for you. Keep coming and keep inviting other people who are currently in the darkness. I feel like my life is just boring enough to make people interested. So anyways, I hope to be posting more regularly in the near future, but for now you will have to be satiated by my sporadic entries from undisclosed locations throughout San Francisco. Take care, everyone. I love you all.

Mis Cortitos (My little shorts)

Wow! I had so much fun swimming today. I know that I always tell you about how much I swam, who I swam with or who yelled at me while I was swimming, but I don't think I've ever said that I actually had fun swimming. And today I did. But I have to confess that there's a reason why.......

So a couple of weeks ago while I was in the pool, I realized that I was different from all the other guys and gals. What was it? Were they funnier than me? No. Were they cooler than me? No. Were the wearing appropriate nautical exercise attire? Yes. While everyone else was zipping through the water with their skin-tight swimwear, I was the one swimming extra hard just to fight the resistance from my humongous drawers. So I decided to so something about it.

I went to Speedo's website in search of the perfect swimsuit. I knew that never, and do I mean NEVER, would I wear one of those little thongs, so I needed to find something in between underwear and trunks. And I found them. I purchased Speedo's swim shorts. Sure, they're snug, but they're not meant to be worn on the street.

But fast forward to today...I debuted my little shorts in the pool and I instantly felt like one of the gang. I felt like people were accepting me left and right. I belonged. And boy did my performance improve! Although I only swam my typical 1500M, I think next time I go in the pool, I can easily tackle 1700, because I wasn't even tired when I hopped out of the pool.

Well, I'm going to end this, because I'm even getting bored writing it. I just wanted to share my excitement and the addition to my wardrobe with my online community. I hope everyone has a nice rest of the week. The weekend quickly approaches.

(Untitled)

I thought it would be best to title this entry "Untitled" so as not to mislead anyone into reading against their will, because this really has no point. I realized that I hadn't written anything since the unofficial holiday of the freaks and I wanted everyone to know that I was still alive. But alas, nothing new has transpired in my life since I last wrote. However, I am preparing to embark on a new chapter in my life out here on the west coast...I am about to move in with a total stranger.

That's right. A complete stranger, an unknown fellow, a random man. On Wednesday night, I will be officially living in Glen Park, a cute neighborhood in south-central San Francisco. The neighborhood is actually quite nice, complete with trees and grass, which is actually quite uncommon in SF. The house in which I will be habitating is only two blocks from the BART station (link included for anyone reading away from the grandest city on earth), which will make for a much easier morning commute. That's right, waking up to the sounds of accordion-driven, Mexican music at 3:30 a.m. will be a thing of the past, which I am most relieved to be announcing.

But anyway, about the house and the roommate. The house will be shared with only one person, and his name is Jerry. Jerry is a construction worker whose company does contracts in the city as well as the Bay Area. He's a manly man, which is quite the contrast from little Jeff over here. But he's a nice guy, very mellow and relaxed, so I think we will get along just fine. And the house is amazing. Jerry decided to renovate the entire house when he moved in several months ago, and he has finished with the entire main level of the house (minus the kitchen). The house looks nothing like typical San Francisco living, and I couldn't be more pleased. My room is a pretty spacious 14' x 11'. I will be providing pictures once the room has been adequately furnished.

So it looks like I will be becoming an official San Franciscan next week. Feel free to send me your congratulations via e-mail, and I will send you my new address where you are welcome to mail any house-warming gifts you deem appropriate. Good night everyone. Unfortunately, tomorrow is one of those chimichanga-blasting, middle-of-my-REM-sleep type of mornings. Buenas noches.

P.S. As it turns out, this entry could have had a very nice title. That just serves as an example of why nearly all successful authors don't title their work until its completion. Oh well, I'm done thinking about it.

Tired? Try Red Bull!

Let me begin by wishing everyone a very merry Friday the 13th. I used to especially love Friday the 13th when my sister and I were both living at home because we would stay up all night and watch the marathon on USA of all the accounts of Jason Voorhees (yes, I went to the official website just to check the spelling). I loved how predicatable the movies were. Whether it was teenagers having sex in a log cabin, a tent in the middle of nowhere, or just on the edge of Crystal Lake, Jason was always there with machete in hand ready to carve them to pieces!

*****

But anyway, that's not the point of today's story. I was so tired all day today. I think sleep deprivation is finally catching up with me. I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, which for me "no work," as Aunt Voula would say on My Big Fat Greek Wedding. So today I was at Safeway purchasing my soy cheese pizza, when I found myself unable to even keep my eyes open. So in the line, that's when I saw the Red Bull glistening from within the refrigerated impulse-buy section. I couldn't resist...they even had one without sugar! So I placed it in my basket, made my purhase, and guzzled that little treat like I had just spent two weeks in the Sahara. By the time I got to my apartment, I was feeling like Jack on Will and Grace when he was dating the guy from the coffee shop and he got all the free coffee he wanted. I was buzzing like a bee! I was perky, I was vibrant, I was alive. I think if this whole lack of sleep persists, I may have to set aside a place in my budget for a weekly supply of Red Bull. If you have never tried it, I strongly encourage it.

That's all for now. Again, happy 13th. Stay away from the weirdos...unless you live in San Francisco and just can't avoid them. Ciao.

Jeff’s “Musical Career” Soon May No Longer Qualify for Oxymoron Status

So everyone knows that I talk a lot about my time at the YMCA trying desperately to change the body that God gave me, and that I spend 40 hours a week at a hotel in San Francisco for reasons unbeknownst to me (but I like it, don’t get me wrong), but I talk very little about me as a musician. And I don’t really know why that is. Because since I was in the second grade, music has consumed my life. The short version of my life as a musician is that in the second grade my mother noticed that I could play the piano by just listening to things on the radio, so she saw the need for me to start taking lessons. Well, as little Jeff grew up he attended a performing arts high school, and then went on to college to study trombone performance…yes, trombone. That’s really what I’ve focused on ever since I started high school. Anywho….

Since moving out to the bay area, I’ve really been looking for outlets to play and to meet people so I could get hooked into the scene around here but have been pretty unsuccessful. That is, until I started to use the power of Craigslist. So I responded to an ad for a guy looking for musicians for a pit orchestra for a local community theater in Alameda. So I responded, and I’m in! I’ll be doing the show Cabaret starting in September. It doesn’t pay much, but that’s not what’s important. It’s important to me to be playing and meeting other musicians. And also, I’ve taken the initiative to try to find brass players willing to form a brass quintet. So far I have 3 of the 5 needed and I’m just keeping my fingers crossed for the second trumpet player and horn player. It’s hard to find a good horn player.

But anyway, I find this all very exciting. I’m so thrilled to finally be using my talents again. It’s so fulfilling when I’m playing in a musical ensemble and just thinking how this is what I love and I’m earning money while I’m enjoying myself. That is the best job…when you don’t feel like you’re working. But anyway, I won’t force you to continue to read. But expect to be reading much more than the 1500M that I swam today (which I did…hooray for me). Good night. Sweet dreams.

The Onion Hits San Francisco

For those of my readers who reside in the great city of San Francisco, the world's most hilarious newspapers hit the streets today as The Onion's first official day. They were passing out newspapers by the Ferry Building this aftenoon, and they will be officially distributed beginning tomorrow in selected locations throughout the city. There is a link to The Onion on my blog. If you are unfamiliar with this wonderful publication, please take this time to familiarize yourself with some of the best satirical humor on the planet. Later.

How Does Your High School Rank?

So I used to think that my high school was awesome. There was always a rumor going around that we were like the 5th best high school in the nation. Well, according to Newsweek, we're the 223rd best, which is a little less impressive. How did your high school do? If better than mine, I don't want to know! Manual pride all the way!!!


The 100 Best High Schools in America - Newsweek Society - MSNBC.com

To All My Faithful Blog Readers:

This message is only intended for those who check my blog daily waiting with anticipation to see what new predicament I have gotten myself into, or what random lady has decided to be rude to me. I've added a little feature over on the left side of the blog. It's from a service called Bloglet. If you choose to submit your e-mail address, it will e-mail you and notify you when I have updated my blog. I found this feature to be especially applicable because, as you all know, sometimes our internet can get shut off forcing me to live out the less-desired life of the Amish. And although I don't mind churning my own butter (I honestly don't), I value the internet and I value the power my blog has to clue the world in on just how stressful my random little life can be at times. So anywho, there it is. Let me know if you find this feature useful. If not, I'll take it off.

Two's Fine, Three's Annoying, Four and I'm Done!

So as you know by now, the majority of my posts, with exclusion to my toe, have to do with either work or things that transpire at the Young Men's Christian Association, which is now popularly known as the YMCA since before I was born. In fact, I've been so busy, I rarely have time to play my trombone anymore. Did you all even know that I'm a classical trombonist?! Well I am. But anyway, that's not the point.

So my YMCA only has 5 lanes for lap swimming, which people gladly split to make room for ten happy swimmers. Occasionally during peak hours, sometimes people will have to "circle swim" to accommodate other swimmers which is fine as long as the people have similar speeds. Otherwise it can be a real drag if you're swimming behind Grandpa...or it's even worse if you're swimming in front of Michael Phelps. But today, to what did my wandering eyes appear? Yes, four people in my lane (including myself). I was being passed and tapped on the toe and the water was so tumultuous that every time I came up for air, I ended up getting a mouthful of water to my dismay. Well I wasn't even like a tenth of the way through my workout, so I decided to stick it out and after a couple hundred meters people started to spread out to other lanes where vacancies had opened up. So I was able to rise above the situation and not completely ruin my workout (a solid 1400M today might I add).

So the moral of this story is that, if you're at my YMCA and you want me to get really angry, just hop in my lane when there are already fourteen other people traipsing around. I'll love you for it. That's all for today. I'm in search of dinner and then I have to go to the store and buy toilet paper. We never used to run out of toilet paper at home! I guess I just expected it to always be there........but it's not. Take care, all.