Toilet Trouble

So it's very nearly 2:30 am and I just got off the phone with Zach. I feel really sorry for him because he actually has a job and has to be up 'n' at 'em (a favorite idiomatic expression of mine frequently used by my grandmother) at 7:00 EST. Oh well, too bad for him! Hooray for one's sole source of income being a student loan! But anyways, I really wanted to tell you all about my fun encounter this evening before I went to bed.

I would approximate that between 12:05 and 12:07 am I flushed the toilet. I flushed it quite routinely as is customary after every usage of the bathroom, well the ones which require the commode I should say. I distinctly remember depressing the little silver lever with the same intensity and duration as is appropriate for this toilet of mine, and then going on with my other business. Around 12:45 my ears detected that there was a noise originating from the bathroom. To no auditory surprise, it was the toilet...which was still running. Puzzled, I walked into the bathroom only for my bare feet to be greeted by a completely saturated floor mat. Dihydrogen monoxide was rampant. I popped the hood of that baby just to take a look at the engine. To my amazement, the technology inside this toilet was only slightly more advanced than the water bottle connected to a silver tube which hamsters use to have a drink when taking a break from innumerable RPM's on the plastic wheel. After several manual flushes of lifting the metal chain from within the toilet's intimate inner workings, I knew it was time for Phase 2 of my do-it-yourself toilet repair....call Brian.
Glancing at my watch just nanoseconds before speed dialing Brian, I noted that the current time was just a fraction of a minute past 1:00. Knowing full well that both Brian and Raquel had been sawing logs for hours already, I thoughtfully and rightfully interrupted their third sleep cycle. Surprisingly, Raquel answered the phone. There was, however, no time for pleasantries, and I demanded to speak with Brian at once. After explaining my woes to Brian, I was walked through a few rudiments of plumbery. To no avail, the water kept surging, and I was instructed by Brian to cease all water flow into the deranged toilet by means of a little knob behind the toilet bowl attached to the wall. Who knew?! I graciously thanked Brian and bid him happy REM-enduced dreams.

So here we are. I'm laying on my bed wondering who the lucky plumber will be to come and fix my bathroom. I'm kind of excited as I will be initiating an undercover investigation learning if in fact all plumbers experience the legendary "Plumber's Crack." We all will have to wait for those findings. Until then, sleep well and happy May!