A Long, Overdue Confession

So I feel like I owe something to all of my readers. Because I feel that since the launch of this blog, I have started to become a personality that is not only respected, but oftentimes idolized. So I feel that the only appropriate thing to do is to confess to the world that I am not nearly as perfect as everyone thinks I am. If you continue to read this, you will soon learn why.....

During my 32 hour voyage across the United States from San Francisco to Louisville, something happened. While in The Cornhusker State (10 points for whoever gets that right without googling), I was met with a difficult decision to make while the flashing blue and red lights were rotation atop the state trooper's cruiser: should I stop, or dare I turn the rest of this trip into a really memorable experience? Nevertheless, I did at last after a 5-second-high-speed chase down the interstate, I broke under the pressure and veered off to the shoulder and awaited the approaching officer.

The tall, slightly overweight gentleman with extremely tight pants (some type of wool blend) approached the passenger's side of my Honda Civic LX and rapped on the window. I agreed to his demands once again and lowered the sheet of glass separating me from the gray monster. After what seemed like an endless interrogation, I was informed that I was traveling at an illegal rate of 96 miles per hour...which for the record is incorrect. 92, I could buy, but no way 96. So anyway, the gentlemen (I use this term very loosely) writes me what appeared to be a love note, but after examining it a little closer, it was a speeding citation that was going to cost me $244! I couldn't believe that by going a couple miles over the speed limit, I would be forced to pay this ransom when I very well could have bought 2 shirts at Banana Republic. Appalled, I re-entered the flow of traffic and resumed cruising at a more "reasonable" pace.

So here and now I confess to the blog-reading population that I have broken the law, and feel no remorse. If anything, I feel contempt for the man who takes his frustration out on me just because he can't fit into his 38's anymore. But do not despair, for I have a plan to avoid the tariff that has been placed before me. Today, I will draft a letter to The Cornhusker State informing them of with whom they are dealing. With just the right vocabulary and a little bit of luck, perhaps I can get this outrageous fare reduced a trifle. Of course, I will be updating everyone on the events that transpire from this. I don't know if they have computers in prison, but leave the details to me.

It feels so good to be writing again. I noticed that a whole two people checked the blog yesterday, so keep up the good work. Remember, your questions and commentaries are encouraged. Have a great day, everyone.