Jeff Loses a Touch of Innocence Today

I'm sure that it wouldn't be a shock to a lot of you that I usually like to live in a fantasy world. Not in the troll-like sense that there are dragon-guarded castles and gnomes with mystical power , but in the sense that in my world everyone is happy, no one ever has a malicious thought, and people generally skip down the sidewalks humming their current favorite Disney melody.

Today I was having a lesson in a part of the music school where I rarely go, and I really had to pee. So I located a nearby restroom with a sign on the door that said, "Unisex Bathroom: Please Lock Door Upon Entry." So a couple of thoughts immediately rushed to my head:

a) I've never understood why people say "unisex" as opposed to "omnisex." Just to clarify, normal gender-restrictive restrooms are unisex, and restrooms for both species are omnisex, or bisex, but we steer away from that term. I would even allow pansex, but again that sounds just a little awry, and

b) I was filled with glee that I was going to get to use the restroom with some common privacy where I could have my own time and actually have a moment to think.

Of course that was until I noticed the sign that I've placed up in the right hand corner of this entry, and immediately I felt like a black person in Alabama. I expedited my casual urination, and fled that bathroom, of which I will never return. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm okay with the fact that women have been there and answered nature's call, but do we really need to plaster signs around letting us know the minutia of events?! I mean, that's like a hotel putting up a notice that says to please pat dry any stains that you may have gotten on the sheets and blankets!! SHEESH.

Ok, I'm done. Moral of the story, go to the bathroom and do what needs to be done, and then get over it. Please don't broadcast your bathroom experience to the world. And finally to all the faithful workers in the field of building maintenence: Please install higher-powered toilets so that we can avoid future innocence-robbing signage.

Thank you.